"It wasn't safe," he admitted safely, focusing on his glass to make it easier for him to explain. "I never felt safe. They - the KGB watched me, my family so closely. They could - they did use someone I cared about very much for leverage. It was better not to feel anything at all, to be a perfect machine."

He wondered what it was in Sookie's life that had led her to come to such a similar conclusion but he didn't ask. It wasn't any of business, and he knew much too well that some things could be dangerous if shared. If she wanted to tell him, she would.

"I think you are right. It's a terrifying thing, especially for someone like me, but I am a different person than I was two years ago." He glanced over at the chessboard and smiled ruefully. "Well, perhaps not entirely different. But different enough."