I cross over borders but I'm still there now

[chesspolitik]

Anatoly stirred, verging on the edge between sleep and wakefulness. He didn't particularly want to move, but Aeneas would need to be let out sooner or later and there were better ways to start the day then by having a dog jump on you.

He opened his eyes and froze, not recognizing his surroundings. He was in a shoddy-looking hotel room that had the barest of essentials. The furniture was poorly-made and looked an inch away from collapse. He recognized the dreary look only too well. He was in Moscow, he had to be. But when? And why?

In a panic, he turned to look next time and was relieved to see Lex there, appearing quite sound asleep. At least if this was another island trick, he was not left to face it alone.

"Sascha?" He shook him gently but insistently. "Sascha, wake up!"

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[chesspolitik]

"They are here. The flat is not far from here, just a few blocks over," Anatoly breathed, shoving his hands in his pockets in the hopes they would stop shaking. He wasn't considering how Lex might feel about this or if he would even think they ought to take the risk. His only thoughts were of Ilona and Dmitri and the desire to see them was so powerful, he thought his heart might burst.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

It killed Lex but he managed a small smile for Anatoly. "Then lead the way, Tolya. But remember," The smile disappeared as he got serious. "We have to keep cover. You are going to be Svetlana's husband and Dimitri and Ilona's father. I'm your KGB handler. If anything happens...I can't help you." Not to mention, he didn't know if he could.

He wondered if Moscow had bars and how far the nearest one was from Anatoly's flat. He already needed a drink.

[chesspolitik]

"I know," Anatoly answered quietly, his head bent slightly in deference to Lex. He might be a little rusty but he could still play the game, still say and do one thing while his heart thought another. It would be difficult but all worth it for the opportunity of seeing his children.

As he lead the way, they were the only thoughts in his mind. Svetlana, Molokov, even Lex was all but forgotten, pushed back into the category of things of secondary importance. Nothing mattered but Dmitri and Ilona and nothing else could stand in his way.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex used to think he was good at that game, but he'd never cared about something this much with his heart before. But it was do or die in this case so he had no choice. For once, Lionel's training was going to prove fruitful.

He retook his position behind and to the side of Anatoly as he followed him, using the distraction of keeping watch to hide the growing fear pooling in his gut. He'd faced down Lionel Luthor time after time, but the thought of facing Anatoly's wife and children was almost making him loose any composure he was trying to hold onto.

When they were just outside the flat, Lex couldn't resist any longer. He pulled Anatoly back into the stairwell. He looked around for a moment before pulling him into a kiss, a very possessive kiss but he couldn't help himself. Anatoly was his, dammit, and the thought of sharing him with the people who had prior claim on him scared him to death. But he would. After this kiss.

[chesspolitik]

It was a very dangerous thing for them to do, but Anatoly clung to Lex gratefully as he returned the kiss. This was the last bit of comfort he could take from him for some time - from the moment he walked into the door until they were in the privacy of their hotel room, Lex had to be nothing more than his handler. If he even looked more than a moment at him, people might guess.

He let go very reluctantly and took a deep breath. He was afraid of his reception, afraid that his children wouldn't like or even remember him but he had to do this. He had to try.

His hand shaking, he knocked on the door and waited.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it was cowardice on his part, but as they waited, Lex kept more watch on the hallway then on the flat door. It was selfish, but he didn't want to see the happy look on Anatoly's wife and children's faces when they saw their wayward husband and father, especially since he wasn't sure if he could keep his composure from revealing his dismay, guilt and jealousy or worse yet, grabbing Anatoly and claiming him as Lex's.

Lex never had learned to share well, but this was just ridiculous.

[chesspolitik]

When the door opened, Anatoly immediately rushed inside, his heart pounding with emotion. He remembered himself enough to greet Svetlana with a chaste kiss on her cheek and explain who Lex was and why he was here.

The real focus of his attention was on his children and he fell to his knees with a soft cry, holding out his arms to them. They rushed over and he wrapped them into his arms, holding them as tightly as he could. He could feel his eyes start to water and his throat seize up with the effort of keeping himself together, but it didn't matter. He was finally with his beloved children and for a little while, he could pretend that everything was alright.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

For the most part, Lex tried to keep his attention solely on Svetlana. He gave her a polite nod and exchanged forced pleasantries, for which he didn't feel bad since he could tell it was the same for both sides.

While he knew he shouldn't, his curiosity got the better of him and Lex looked over at the reunion of father and children. It was just a moment before he was enough for him feel like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He excuse himself, under the pretense of checking out the rest of the apartment for government soundness, when really he was running to somewhere he could close the door, lean against it and fall part.

Everything was not alright. Lex wished this didn't affect him so much, wished for one of the few times in his life he could be more like his father in that regard. This was no doubt going to be one of the worst weekend's of Lex's life.