chesspolitik | We are a world away from where we started

When Anatoly returned, Lex looked up from where he'd been staring at the chess board on the table. It wasn't set up mid play as usual, instead it was clear that the pieces had just been set up as quickly as possible to get them off the floor. Half weren't even standing up. Haphazard due to their being knocked to the floor yesterday morning when Clark had abducted him.

Clark. The previous center of Lex's universe. The more he thought about it, he knew his focus had shifted from Clark to Anatoly long before his realization that night before, but he wasn't sure when. Or how even when not even Helen had done that. Still, the realization was enough to shake him to his very core and combined with the events surrounding the said realization, it had left Lex unusually quiet and more inclined to just cling to Anatoly in a most un-Luthor like fashion. Not to mention what Clark had said while he was falling asleep...

Lex smiled at Anatoly and carefully moved the chess board to make room for the food on the table. They hadn't talked much since that morning, mostly because Lex didn't know what to say. How did he explain to Anatoly how he'd married Clark, secrets or no? Could he?

Anatoly ate his dinner in silence, not wanting to disturb their quiet domesticity. When they talked, it was almost certain their relationship would change. For the better, he hoped, but even so. He had never liked dealing with change in the first place.

But like it or not, the subject had to be broached. When they were finished and the plates had been cleared, he took a deep breath and looked at Lex. "I think perhaps it's time we talked."

Lex looked up from where he'd been looking at the table, unable to meet Anatoly's eyes throughout the meal, afraid they would give away something he wasn't sure he could explain. Normally he was so very confident in everything he did, but today he wasn't sure about anything. Except for how much he need the man in front of him.

After meeting Anatoly's gaze for a moment, Lex sighed and looked back down. "I think your right. I'm afraid I don't know where to begin." It was the truth. How did he explain to Anatoly what had happened? Did he start back in Smallville? With what his and Clark's friendship had been based on? How did he describe the secrets he wanted so badly from his friend when he wasn't even sure what they were anymore?

He motioned for Anatoly to return his seat at the table and took the man's hand when he did, taking strength from the touch. That fear was back, the same he'd felt when he'd told Anatoly the meaning behind the cufflinks. After everything...was this what would lose him the man that even he couldn't deny that he loved more the anything anymore?

Anatoly clung to Lex's hand as if it were a lifeline. Suddenly he was afraid of what he might learn, afraid that this might be the beginning of the end. In another time, he would have, not to put a too fine point on it, cut and run. But that was another world and lifetime ago. Here, he meant to fight this out.

He brought Lex's hand to his lips for a quick, soft kiss. "Wherever you think is best to start. The beginning, from when Clark took you - I just want to know what happenened."

For a moment, Lex could only laugh bitterly, matched with an ironic smile. "With Clark...even I don't know where to start. But what happened..." Lex took a moment to look out the door, down the beach as if gathering his thoughts. "I supposed I should start with the night at the club. I told you I fought with Clark. He was attempting to seduce me and I was more interested in the secrets of Connor's origins, which he was teasing me with." He shook his head as he glanced back at Anatoly. "Clark didn't like that...but then he's never liked people prying into his secrets. Of which he seems to have more then his share and which fascinated me about him. Mainly because I wondered why he wouldn't trust me with them."

Well...it was a start.

Anatoly looked down at the floor, trying to stifle the urge to go have another pointed conversation with Clark. It was the island that was responsible for his untoward behavior and confronting him over something that he had no control over would accomplish nothing. It was tempting, all the same.

"Neither Kent behaved well that night, it seems."

At that Lex raised an eyebrow. He knew something had happened to Anatoly at the club the same night he'd fought with Clark, but neither had really wanted to be forthcoming about what had happened. While he didn't push, Lex was still curious and wondered what Connor and Clark had done to Anatoly, no doubt because of his association with him. It took everything Lex had to bite back his possessiveness. "No, it seems like they weren't."

"Apparently," Lex continued, looking down at their clasped hands, "Clark wanted to try again. So he came by here yesterday morning and tried to convince me to go with him." He could still picture how beautiful Clark had looked in the morning soon, so fluid and open, the promise of everything Lex had dreamed about in the air. He swallowed to erase the image. "When I wouldn't comply, he took matters into his own hands." Being roped like a piece of cattle was still embarrassing.

"He took me to some empty hut and tied me to a chair. Then he kept making insinuations and seductions, all the while getting more and more intoxicated." It had been pure torture. Lex had wanted so badly to give in and he still wondered how he hadn't. Unconsciously, he squeezed Anatoly's hand, as if needing to be grounded.

It wasn't Clark's fault, Anatoly kept telling himself, but the more he heard, the more furious he became. "So, he thought he could just - kidnap you and cajole into doing whatever he wanted?"

He stood up with a frustrated groan and paced around the hut, brushing a hand over his hair and muttering curse words under his breath in Russian. He stopped after a few moments and faced Lex. "I could kill him. He's young, I know, and it was the island doing this, but I could kill him for what's he done."

He knelt besides Lex's chair, reaching up to cup his face. "He can't - he can't have you."

Whatever reaction Lex was expecting...it had been anything but this. The anger at Clark yes, though Lex swallowed back his guilt for not telling Anatoly just how much he wanted to give in. How close he had been. And at home, just the want alone would have been enough to condemn him and the fact used against him, by his father no doubt. Even with him as the supposed victim, this would have been seen as Lex's fault, since he was a Luthor.

And yet, even though Anatoly knew about the marriage and hadn't yet let Lex explain his reasons behind it, he was kneeling in front of him and proclaiming quite possessively that Lex was his. And Lex was honestly speechless, since at no point in his life had anyone done such a thing for him. If anyone could be compared to this man at his feet. Not even Clark Kent.

Lex could only stare at Anatoly, a hand coming up to grip one of his, as his realization hit home again, causing an almost physical ache in his chest. He was in love with Anatoly, who was his very center and voice of reason now, completely taking over from Clark. And he knew that while Clark hadn't wanted the job, Anatoly accepted it.

All of this showed in his eyes as he stared, unable to hide it, parts love, wonder and a tiny bit of fear. But he was too tired and raw to care. And a part of him, needed to show Anatoly what he didn't know how to say.

Anatoly couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt so possessive or indeed, even expressed such a sentiment to someone else. The strong depth of his feeling quite frankly scared him. It was always the other person who would say these things first, never him. This was always the point which he ran.

As he met Lex's eyes, he realized fully how much he loved this man. He wasn't going to run. He wasn't going to hide or do any of the other things he'd done over the years to avoid dealing with relationships in any meaningful sense. Lex deserved - needed better than that.

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Lex's, a soft tender kiss showing him all the love he felt. Maybe someday he could put this properly in words, but for now, he could show him how much he was wanted, needed, desired.

After breaking the kiss, he leaned his forehead against him. "Whatever Clark was doing," he murmured softly, one hand still entwined with Lex's, the other cupping the back of his neck. "Or thought he was trying to do, it changes nothing about how I feel for you. It never can."

Everything Lex had ever wanted; from his father, from Helen, from the Kents, from Clark, he could feel in this very moment. It was almost too good to be true. But with his father not here to sabotage it...Perhaps, for once, he'd be able to keep it. He'd do anything to keep it now that he knew what it felt like.

Lex returned the kiss carefully, his other hand coming down to tangle in the front of Anatoly's shirt, subtly pulling him closer to hide the small shiver that went down his spine. To be wanted like this was as close to heaven as Lex had ever experienced and he wanted to be sure that Anatoly knew he felt the same.

"Anatoly..." He said softly, closing his eyes for a moment. Lex had to tell him. Had to clean his conscious. "About marrying Clark. I only did it because he bribed me with his secrets. The one thing he knew I wouldn't be able to say no to." He paused before adding, soft pain in his voice, "The whole time...I won't deny that a part of me still wanted him. I had loved him for two years. And to have it offered so willingly...I'm still amazed I was able to resist. But last night, I realized that while I might still find him beautiful...he wasn't what I needed anymore. What I truly /wanted/." Another kiss was enough to show Anatoly exactly what it was he wanted now, without a shadow of a doubt.

"But you didn't," Anatoly pointed out gently. "And even if you had... how could I throw stones? He was an important part of your life for so long, and you loved him."

He grew quiet for a moment, thinking of Svetlana and Florence, the two women he'd once (and maybe a part of him still) loved. What would he have done if he'd been in Lex's postion and it had been freedom they've offered. He wasn't sure he knew the answer.

"I tell you, it doesn't matter what did or didn't happen between you and him. You and I - we've been this road before, with marriages. What matters is how we feel about each other." He leaned forward to kiss Lex again, a slow deep kiss. "You know, Sascha, don't you? How much you mean to me? You're my sun, my light, my life."

"The days where I would I would take advantage of such a thing are behind me Tolya, I promise." Lex insisted quickly, feeling the need to fill the space with the claim. After the cufflinks and his admission there, he wanted to be sure Anatoly understood that. He wasn't sure Helen ever had.

But then it was all forgotten at Anatoly's soft Russian words. His body went stiff for a moment as the enormity of those words and the feelings they conveyed washed over him. This was a completely foreign feeling, since no one had shown such love and devotion so openly towards him...not since before his accident. Lex honestly didn't think he could live without this man by his side anymore or more...he was afraid what he would become without him, because this exactly what he needed to stay grounded. Exactly what he needed to prevent himself from becoming the monster the spandex heroes claimed he would.

"I do Tolya. And it's why I trust you, with my heart, body and soul. With everything." It was possibly the most open thing he'd ever said to anyone, breaking past his ingrained Luthor facade easier then he thought was possible. And he sealed it with a kiss, one hand cupping a stubbled cheek, while the other found the shared comfort of a handful of curls.

"Then we have said all we needed to say," Anatoly murmured after the kiss ended, briefly covering Lex's hand with his own. It wasn't quite the traditional declaration of love, perhaps, but it was as close as the two of them were going to get.

They had other, more physical ways of expressing the love and passion they shared, and Anatoly was almost at the end of his endurance. He stood and quickly settled on Lex's lap, entwining his arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

Love. That's what this was. It wasn't painful or frightening or anything except need for this man. This was a new kind of love for Lex and one he planned on getting used too.

And Anatoly was right. They had said everything they needed to say. Anatoly knew Lex loved him and Lex knew Anatoly loved him. Not in those words but that's all they were. Words. And when Anatoly replied in a language Lex knew more intimately then Anatoly's precious Russian or his own native English, he could do nothing but reply, his one hand staying rooted in those wonderful curls while the other hooked around the Russian's waist to hold him firmly in his lap.

After a few moments of just clutching and kissing, Lex found there were a few words that did still needed to be said. "Tolya...please. I need to feel you." There was a slight desperation in his voice, needing the touch to rid himself of the memory and wants of the night before, until the only bit that remained to remind him were the rope burns around his wrists.

"Anything you want," Anatoly answered, punctuating each word with a fervent kiss. "Anything at all. Just tell me what you want."

Without waiting for a response, he leaned back a little so he could start to unbutton his shirt. Whatever Lex needed, he would give him - it was as simple as that. He'd been so afraid that he might never hold or touch him again and now that all was right with the world again, he meant to appreciate every moment he had with the man he loved so much.

"You. You." Lex rattled off the word in every language he knew as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. Then his hands came forward to touch the skin Anatoly was slowly exposing. Once the shirt was fully open, Lex took advantage and leaned forward to kiss at Anatoly's neck and collar bone, each more loving then the next, as his hands stroked the bare skin on his sides. This...this was all he ever needed.

Anatoly closed his eyes with a soft sigh, reveling in the spine-tingling sensation of Lex's touch. He tilted his head to give Lex more room, shifting his position to get more comfortable.

He lightly ran his hands down Lex's chest, marveling anew over the smooth feel. He opened his eyes and leaned in to kiss Lex, whispering afterwards in his ear, "I can never get tired of touching you, Sascha. Never."

One of his hand came up to mirror Anatoly's movements, except his fingers lightly tangled in the hair there in sharp comparison to his own chest. How opposite they were in that one thing and instead of repulsion, it just fascinated the other. Proof again how they needed each other.

The whispered words caused a small shiver to go down Lex's spine. Touch had been as elusive as love for him. Unable to help himself, he chuckled lightly before kissing Anatoly again. "Good thing I never want you to stop." He pushed the other's shirt off his shoulders so he could have unlimited access to Anatoly's upper body. That was enough...for now.

Enjoyable as it was to sit on Lex's lap and kiss him soundly, a change of venue was in order, for comfort if nothing else. He pressed a last lingering kiss to Lex's lips then stood with the intention of leading the other man to the bed.

Along the way up, a different plan came to mind. It wasn't his usual style, it was true, but then - what about this whole day had been usual?

He knelt again, this time between Lex's legs. He bent his head to press soft light kisses on the inside of his thigh, his hands firmly on Lex's hips.

When Anatoly had stood, Lex had prepared to stand up right behind him to follow him to the bed, all to eager to continue where this was going. So he was a bit surprised when instead, Anatoly knelt and pushed him back into his seat.

This was new. Usually it was Lex who was the instigator, since he had more confidence and experience in this type of love making. While Anatoly was a quick learner, this was still a bit unexpected. A comforting hand came down to stroke his curls as Lex asked, "Tolya...are you sure?" He didn't question the other's intention or want...just wanting to be sure that Anatoly wasn't pushing himself out of his comfort zone just because of what happened.

"I'm sure," Anatoly answered firmly, raising his head to meet Lex's eyes, letting see for himself there was no fear, only great passion and desire. This was a great step forward for him but it was one he was both willing and ready to embrace.

Gently, he ran his hands down Lex's thighs, not wanting to press further until he was sure Lex was comfortable with this.

Lex couldn't help a smile as he leaned down, while at the same time using his grip on Anatoly's curls to draw him up into a kiss, trying once more to show just how amazing he thought this man was. "Anything you want Tolya, it's yours." He said softly before letting himself relax against the share so Anatoly could do what he wanted.

Anatoly kissed him happily, feeling once again that he was the luckiest man in all of the world to have found someone he trusted so much and felt so comfortable with than Lex.

Without that assurance, he'd never have the courage or desire do what he was about to do. Slowly, almost reverently, he unzipped Lex's pants and tugged them down and off. The briefs soon followed, and Anatoly took a moment to enjoy the beauty before him.

He lifted his head to meet Lex's eyes again, giving him his best come-hither smile. This might be his first time going down on a man, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to tease him mercilessly along the way.

Obediently, Lex shifted and moved his body to help Anatoly undress him. Even sitting naked in a chair, Lex had a certain Luthor poise that sheltered him like armor.

But only for a moment, as the armor broke away so he could relax and just be Sascha, under the loving eyes of his Tolya. Who responded to the come hither look with one of his own, paired with a knowing smile. He knew Anatoly liked to tease and he honestly couldn't wait. He sat back in the chair and spread his legs, taking a second but finally giving up control of the moment to the man sitting in front of him.

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