Skill and guts - a model for the young beginner

[chesspolitik]

Before Anatoly had arrived at the Island, the mere thought of giving chess lessons had never crossed his mind. Before Bangkok, his only goal was to defeat Trumper soundly. During, that goal had changed to find a way out of the political and personal traps that had been set before him. And after... well. He hadn't been fit to think of anything other than what he had just done - giving up his reputation, his freedom, everything he'd loved for the woman he'd loved.

Then he had arrived here and everything changed. He'd found freedom, peace... even love and all of these things were in ways he'd never imagined. While he still loved chess and would happily play for hours until forcibly carried away, the lack of professional matches and the need to keep his wits sharp had encouraged him to consider other ways to express his joy in the game.

Teaching was one way and to his surprise, he found that he enjoyed this very much. There was a special joy in seeing understanding come to a student's eyes as he demonstrated a particular tactic. Best of all was watching their game improve session by session as their thought process moved from looking at individual pieces to seeing the patterns and reacting correspondingly. In prestige, it might not rank with having a title but the personal satisfaction was just as great.

This particular afternoon he was sitting in the rec room, purposely ignoring anyone by the name of Trumper. The chess board was in place, the pieces meticulously placed in their allotted square. He had his tea, all he needed was his student to arrive and then their lesson could begin.

Comments

[justsookie]

Sookie's gaze grew slightly unfocused as she fingered the black knight piece, attracted to it only because it seemed to be the most recognizable out of all of the pieces. Was a happy ending something that she would ever be able to hold in her own hands? She wasn't willing to bet on it. Time after time, something seemed to get in the way of happiness for her in Bon Temps, and although she was loath to think that the island would be similarly chaotic, it was hard to be that optimistic when it had just recently thrown her among the dinosaurs without warning or preamble.

"There are days when I feel like I'd settle for just a peaceful endin'," Sookie remarked with a sigh. "Not that I don't enjoy bein' blissfully happy, but sometimes it hurts twice as much to have it torn away."

[chesspolitik]

"I understand," Anatoly said, squeezing her shoulder gently. He hoped she wouldn't think it was too forward or for any nefarious purpose, but it pained him to know that someone else, especially someone so sweet as her could feel that way.

"I admit it is all part of what I have always loved about chess. The flow of the game is all on you. It is orderly, you can plan strategies and you can control where it is going if you are good enough. Chess made sense when few other things did."

[justsookie]

Far from seeing Anatoly's gesture as too forward, Sookie felt it welcome, the closeness of another person and empathy which passed between the two of them through touch alone. Immediately, she smiled, letting her gaze dip down to brush over the chess pieces, pretty and orderly as they were.

"I had somethin' like that for a while," she nodded. "Spellin' bees. I mean, it's less about strategy and more simply either knowin' or not knowin'." Sookie neglected to mention the fact that when she couldn't remember how to spell a specific word, she simply ha to dip into another person's thoughts, like the judge as they looked down at the dictionary. "But I never stopped wantin' more, stuff that I can't plan out all the way, stuff that makes me feel alive. I might've found it again here, and... well, all that we can do is hope, right? That things work out."

[chesspolitik]

"You are right," Anatoly said after a moment of reflection. "I find it's easier here to hope and believe things will work out then I could anywhere else, as strange as it is to say."

He smiled warmly and leaned back in his chair. There had been some bad times here but they were all outweighed by the good moments. He'd arrived a shell of a person and after a few years of true friendship and security, he felt as if he was finally becoming someone worth knowing.

[justsookie]

"I don't think it's that weird to say," Sookie remarked after a pause. "Of course, I still don't really know if we're here for a reason, or what this place is, but sometimes I feel like all you can really do here is... live. There's so much less violence here than what I knew, back home. Everyone's human, no one's got more power than anyone else. There's no ruler tellin' us what to do or how to do it."

Arching a brow, Sookie took a long draw out of her glass, puckering at the tart flavor. "You'd think that the place would go all chaotic, that people would just steal from each other and stuff, but it's not like that at all. So, I think it makes sense. Havin' more hope here."

[chesspolitik]

"Do you know what makes me laugh when I think about it? If any place could be said to truly uphold the communistic ideal, this would be it. Yes, there's police and a government of sort here, but most everyone here seems ready and willing to lend their help if needed." Anatoly wasn't usually one to talk about politics or anything related, but this had been something he'd been mulling over for some time now.

[justsookie]

"Does it really count, though, if we get food kinda delivered to us and don't have enough resources to come up with all the luxuries people would normally fight over?" Sookie pondered, tapping her chin with a finger. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm dumb as bricks when it comes to politics. I still don't get the difference between socialism and communism, or why we need both the senate and the house of representatives in the American government. It all just goes straight over my head, but... I feel like yeah, if we don't have to fight over things and there's enough to keep everyone happy, and not so much that people get caught up in competin', people should be content."

[chesspolitik]

"Politics are not my strength either," Anatoly admitted. "And I am sure my "comrades" would find something to complain about if they were here, but truly I think this is as close as we can get to the perfect place."

"That is, of course, if you leave out the strange things the Island likes to do."

[justsookie]

Sookie peered down at her hands, running her fingers over her palms, feeling the dry, rough surface of her skin. She would need to find some sort of moisturizer soon, preferably one of the fairly numerous aloe plants around the jungle.

"I don't think I've got the guts to call anythin' close to perfection anymore," she said. "It always seems like when I come close to a life that's just happy and carefree, somethin' tugs it away. People can still disappear in the blink of an eye, and we can still... gosh, get dragged out to the dinosaurs. I really like Tabula Rasa, but I just don't want to jinx myself."

[chesspolitik]

Anatoly nodded in complete understanding. He understood very well where Sookie was coming from and certainly he'd suffered more than his fair share of trials and disappointments. "It's the one constant, isn't it? Or at least, that is what it feels like sometimes. I learned just to take things as they come - enjoy the good times, knowing they won't last and weathering the bad as best I can."

[justsookie]

"Oh, you have absolutely no idea how much I wish I could just do the same," Sookie replied earnestly, eyes wide as she blinked at Anatoly, pausing with her lips parted while she reminded herself of all the countless reasons why she couldn't let herself relax. "And sometimes I almost manage, but whenever I feel like something's about to be snatched from me, I just get terribly on edge. Life's been too crazy lately to look that far ahead, but it seems like I'm always bracin' myself anyway."

[chesspolitik]

Anatoly shook his head, smiling wryly. "I always thought the future was supposed to be better, that people would be happier, free from fear. I am not sure whether it's comforting or depressing to know that nothing really changes."

It didn't seem right though, that she should have suffer. Perhaps it was over-protective of him, but he thought Sookie ought to be able to be happy and enjoy herself here without having to worry about what might be.

[justsookie]

Sookie's brows pulled together for an instant, surprised as she was by how closely Anatoly's words aligned with how she felt back in Bon Temps. That she was sure that she and Bill would be happy, just as long as they held on for a little longer, until people around them were familiar of the notion of their little Sookie Stackhouse dating a vampire. Until they finished helping Eric with his problems.

"I guess... everyone has to face problems and fear at some point in their life, though," she finally managed. "That's how you learn to appreciate the peace and quiet. I look forward to just lazin' around on the island so much more now that I've had a lot of the bad things happen."

[chesspolitik]

"That is entirely how I feel," Anatoly agreed fervently, gesturing with his glass. "After everything, it has been more than wonderful to sit here or on the beach with my chess board and be allowed to focus only on that. I don't think I shall ever grow tired of enjoying this feeling."

It wasn't completely all sunshine and roses, of course. For all that he was glad to be able to play chess as long as he wished, he was still very much aware of what he had left behind. He missed his children terribly, and while he hadn't truly been in love with his wife for years, he wasn't so heartless as not to worry about her and how much she had suffered because of his actions.

Logically, he knew there was nothing he could do for them while he was here, but he couldn't help but feel guilty at times.

[justsookie]

"I don't know whether or not I will," Sookie replied with a slight shrug. "Right now, I feel like I could just go on like this forever, but there are times when I think so strongly of home and miss the people there. Bon Temps was real small, so everyone came to know one another there. Obviously, it had its down sides, but people knew they belonged, too. It wasn't just where I lived; it was also home."

She leaned back in her chair with a conflicted smile on her face. "Which means this place just feels like vacation right now. Which had better change, 'cause I can't stay on vacation that long."

[chesspolitik]

"You must miss them terribly," Anatoly murmured after a few moments. "I miss my children very much. I... I wasn't able to be around much for the flat to seem much like home, but when I was there, it was nice to have them all around me."

[justsookie]

"You... had kids," Sookie marveled in a hushed tone, suddenly feeling her gut twist at the very thought as she breathed, slowly and evenly. "I can't imagine having to leave your kids behind like that. I left behind a lot of people, sure, but never anyone who would depend on me as much as children would. I'm sorry that they aren't here."

[chesspolitik]

"Two," Anatoly nodded, staring down at the floor, turning his glass over and over in his hands. "Dmitri and Ilona. Because of the matches, I didn't get to see them often, but... I worry that I am not here for them."

He sighed, looking up at Sookie. "But I know there is nothing I can do about it. I can only hope they are safe or that they might arrive here and I could fix things."

[justsookie]

Sookie didn't have many words of comfort to offer Anatoly. Asking him to keep faith in the possibility of his children someday arriving on Tabula Rasa seemed to be asking for disappointment. Finally, she steeled her nerves and inhaled lightly, prepared to offer whatever she could, even if it wasn't too much.

"Well, the good thing is that everyone who arrives never notices that people've been gone from where they are, so your children aren't without you back home, so you're not losin' anything much. And if they do come," Sookie offered, "then you'll get a chance to spend more time with them."

[chesspolitik]

Given that he had been returning as an ex-defector, Anatoly wasn't sure how good things could possibly be, but he said nothing. The mood was already sober enough and he didn't want to add to the gloom. No matter how the situation was playing out, he would never know unless the Island sent him home.

He nodded in response to her words, smiling faintly. "This is true, though I admit it's hard to remember sometimes. There are so many children here, some of them the age of mine."

[justsookie]

Pressing a thoughtful finger to her lip, Sookie tilted her head, inhaling slightly to make a suggestion. After all, while Sookie supposed it was possible that Anatoly had managed to preoccupy himself through playing chess on the island, the likelihood that playing a game that was so integral to his life prior to the island would remind him of that very life was high. Perhaps it only made the heartache worse, and so he needed something new, something separate.

"Have you ever thought about maybe lookin' over some of the kids here?" she asked earnestly. "Like at the Children's Office or somethin'. It's not the same, I know it can't be, but if you can help other kids here who need a little more care or love, wouldn't that be a good thing?"

[chesspolitik]

"That... that is a good idea," Anatoly said with surprise. It was the obvious thing to do - not only was it a way to make himself useful and give back to the community that had been so good to him, it was also a way he could atone for the guilt he felt. It had taken him a long time to learn, but chess wasn't nearly everything.

"Somehow, I have never considered that before. I think I must consider doing this."

[justsookie]

"Hey, don't look too surprised," Sookie teased with a shake of her head, taking another sip from her glass, feeling a little better now for having suggested something that Anatoly seemed to approve of. Separated from their previous lives, everyone needed to find something new to cling to. Sookie had found the Winchester as a stand-in for Merlotte's, had gotten to know a great portion of the people on the island to try and turn the island into a place as friendly as Bon Temps, if not quite as familiar.

"Sometimes I have brilliant moments. Not too often or anythin', but when I manage, they're good."

[chesspolitik]

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, you know." Anatoly protested even as he couldn't help laughing softly. "You have brilliant moments more than sometimes. Look at the party you organized!"

[justsookie]

"Not fully my idea," Sookie pointed out, shaking her head with a wide grin. "My gran was the one who always held potlucks at home and stuff, especially for church, so it was kind of an idea borrowed and tried in a new location. And I'm really glad that it worked and everythin', glad to have offered people that chance to share food, but..." She shrugged with a laugh, fingers gripping at her glass.

"Doesn't make me an Einstein. It just makes me practical, I guess, which isn't a bad thing either."